PMS is Not My Friend (Not even a little bit.)

Dude.  Seriously.

Let me say that again, with fully Valley Girl inflections:
Duuuuude.  SEEERiously.
(What?  I grew up in LA, I’M ALLOWED!  DON’T JUDGE ME!!!)
*runs weeping from room*

Oh.  I’m back now.  Sorry.  Just a little hormonal there.  Which is weird, because I?  Am not usually a hormonal PMS-er.  I sometimes have bad cramps, but usually not too much with the crankiness, the cravings, etc.  A LITTLE bit, but not like this.

Not like the “Death Monster of PMS, God Help You, You Talk to Me I’ll Kill You and Don’t Just Stand There Looking at Me, Make Yourself Useful and Hand Over Those Chips RIGHT NOW, ALL OF THEM, Don’t Think You Can Hide the Extras Because YOU CAN’T.”

Not usually like that.

I think if I salted my arm I would eat it right now.  Seriously, I ate a frozen dinner last night AND SALTED IT.  Gross, right?  NASTY.  I mean, it’s not like they’re salt-free fozen dinners!  But man, it tasted SO GOOD.  That’s how I know I’m PMS-ing like crazy. 

Which makes it a TEENY bit hard to stay on my diet.  I just want to eat chips and cake right now, screw nutrition.  And I KNOW that it will just make me feel worse to eat that way: I’ll want MORE salt and MORE sugar and the sugar hangover will kick in, and I’ll make myself sick, but right now I ALMOST DON’T CARE.  (I think that’s proof that God has a sense of humour, right there: the craving for sugar, knowing that you’ll feel worse afterward, and then crave EVEN MORE.  God’s a sadistic jerk sometimes.)

Man, I already ate a fun-size Snickers, and it’s only 11:15 am!

*SIGH*  This is one of those days where I have to stay REALLY conscious of what I’m eating.  I have the “food is not a moral substance” conversation almost hourly: “You can eat that fun-size Snickers if you want it.  It won’t make you a bad person.  But you can also choose not to eat it, and THAT won’t make you a good or bad person, either.  Would you rather have the Snickers now and be more careful the rest of the day?  Or would you rather save it?  Or would you rather throw caution to the wind, eat crap all week, and not see the scale move?  Those are ALL valid choices.  But MAKE a choice; don’t let your subconscious make the choice FOR you.”

Every hour.  Sometimes every 30 minutes or so.  An hour ago I WANTED SOME CHOCOLATE, DAMMIT.  So I ate the Snickers bar.  I’m better now, but I’m still having that conversation.

And the migraine doesn’t help.  I didn’t go to the gym this morning because when my alarm went off, I thought I’d been stabbed in the left eyeball with an icepick.  I was hoping I could sleep off the migraine, and for a while it worked.   But it’s back now, and it SUCKS.  And I have too much to do to go home early, and I didn’t go to the gym, so I’m a Bad Person, andandand . . .

Sorry.  I’m kind of a downer today, and normally I wouldn’t post, but I’m trying really hard to start posting 5 days a week.  So today, this is all I’ve got. 

 

IN OTHER NEWS (because I’m starting to depress MYSELF, for god’s sake):
There will be a cookbook blog coming soon, I swear.  It should be up and running early next week, and I’ll cross-post the first post here.  I’ll also put notifications up here when new recipes go up (though I won’t cross-post after that first one), because that will probably happen once or twice a week to begin with.

Also, does anyone have any recommendations on where I should start if I want to learn to write computer coding?  Mom and I are thinking about launching a cooking website (not just a blog) instead of actually writing a book.  Our idea is to develop a comprehensive website a la the dating site Plenty of Fish, which runs on free software, and the guy is making literally millions of dollars off AdSense.  (Yeah, I know the odds are against it, but SCREW THE ODDS.  Seriously.  Might as well give it a shot, you know?)

So if anyone has an idea of where to start (eventually I’ll take classes, but I’m thinking a book to get familiar with the idea?), that would be great.  Also, if you have features you’d like to see on the new cooking site, feel free to send them to me.  I’d be interested to hear what would interest YOU.  (Actually, I’ll probably pin a new post at the top of the blog, asking for input, so if you want to wait for that, that’s cool, too.)

Everybody have a Happy Monday!  (I think I only have 3 more days of the PMS from Hell.  What?  TMI?  Probably.  OH, WELL.)

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10 responses to “PMS is Not My Friend (Not even a little bit.)

  1. Oh dear, you know it’s bad when you start to depress yourself!!! If it’s any consolation I am currently having a similar conversation in my head
    I will not throw up my dinner
    but you’re gonna get fatter
    I will not get fat
    but you’re gonna
    one doesn’t get fat from eating vegtables
    yes-they-do-yes-they-do

    Now I’m depressing myself LOL. Eat the chips Marste. The chips want to be eaten, you are fulfilling their destiny. I am about to fulfil the destiny of a handful of jelly beans. It’s the right thing to do….. I’m not helping your rational brain much am I? Sssssh Lola.

    The cooking website sounds like an amazing project to do. I’m not sure if I know of any recommendations for books, but I’ll put out the word on the blogosphere, and see what I can come up with. Are you just looking for design technique or the actual scripting?

    Lola x

  2. Ummm, computers run on code? *scratches her blonde head* Golly, I don’t know anyone smart enough to know computer code. Is that like Morse code?
    I know Morse code.
    dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dot dot. (…—…) What was that, you ask? Why, that was Morse code for SOS. If I’m ever locked in a dudgeon by an evil kidnapper, I can tap out SOS on the pipes, and some dashing young fella will come and rescue me, just like in the movies.
    (Whaddaya mean, nobody knows Morse code anymore? I should just call someone on their cell phone? Or text them? In text code? But… but… I don’t understand text code….)

    Sheesh, must have forgotten to take my meds….

    Sorry to hear you’re PMSing. The good think about PMS is that it goes away. Menopause, and the crazies that come along with it? Never.Goes.Away. ~~sigh~~

  3. DEWD…I don’t think PMS is anyone’s friend.

  4. you hid it very well yesterday, my friend.

  5. Lola! You will NOT get fatter eating vegetables, I PROMISE. 😉 I know that feeling, though. I did manage to stick with the Snickers bar and not compound the damage, though. (Oh, unless you count the 4 HEAPING TABLESPOONS of peanut butter I inhaled just before lunch. Afterward I figured it was around 350 calories. Whoops. But better than chocolate, right? PB has PROTEIN, right? *cracks up*) And I think I’ve got an ok handle on the design; it’s the coding I’m worried about. Yeesh.

    Sassy, yes. Yes it does. LOL 😉

    BL, you’re not helping! I don’t want to think I have this to look forward to FULL-TIME! Screw that. There’s got to be an herb somewhere I can take. (No, not THAT kind! Althooough . . . Ha!)

    POD, you win on the “dude” spelling! That was hilarious. 😀

    Thanks, Emily. Yesterday wasn’t so hard. Though that might have been because I was excited like a 5-year-old to make a new friend! *grins sheepishly*

  6. the pms? I can relate.
    the coding? I can barely keep miz from falling apart 🙂

    your veggie comment to Lola? I second that emotion…

  7. Wow, PMS sure sucks….sorry to hear it is kicking your butt.
    Wish I could help you with the code stuff….like the Bag Lady (funny post BTW) I know little about it!

  8. All I know is to track down sites with a design you like, then copy their code. I know a lot of web designers and yet whenever I ask for their help this is all they tell me. I think it’s pretty much what everybody does. So naughty!

    I have monster PMS every month. I’m sorry if I gave it to you :0( STILL it’s a good excuse to be a bit nicer to myself for a few days… and then back to Being Good renewed and refreshed!

    TA x

  9. Hee, Miz – better protein than sugar. (Though it was crap PB, so there was still a lot of sugar in it.)

    Missicat, I know it will get better. It just sucks for the moment. But I think a friend of mine might be able to help me with basic coding. Woo-hoo!

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