Irrational Panic

This week I’m wrapping up my law school applications, my financial aid applications, my taxes (required for my financial aid applications).

Yesterday I was in my boss’s office and he was helping with my personal essay.  My heart started pounding, I felt short of breath, I felt light-headed.  I am TOTALLY FREAKED OUT about all the changes coming my way.

So I haven’t been posting.  I have to get this stuff done and off my plate, because I’m afraid that if I don’t, I’ll sabotage myself and miss my deadlines.  I just want it DONE.  If all goes according to plan (for the first time EVER) I’ll have a post up on Sunday night for Monday. 

In the meantime, I did some cardio and some weights today, which I was SUPER proud of, considering that I just wanted to crawl into bed and cry from the stress.  I also did not eat crap all day, which was a win, given my propensity for stress-eating. 

So there you go.  Hopefully the next time you hear from me, I will have submitted all my law school stuff.  I will be DONE.

Fingers crossed.


8 responses to “Irrational Panic

  1. Good for you for getting some exercise and eating right in spite of the stress! That sounds like the best possible way to battle the panic.
    Hang in there – it will all work out well for you!

  2. That’s some stressful stuff you got going on for sure! Exercise, especially high intensity cardio, always makes me feel much better. BTW, after having raised myself on canned soup, crudites and frozen fried chicken, I had to learn to cook from scratch. Some cookbook, some cooking shows, lots of trial and error. Regardless of weight or health, psychologically it feels like I’m really taking care of myself when I cook for myself. Even if it’s not all low-fat or low-whatever, it just feels better and healthier. PLus, since I’m not working, it’s cheaper.

    This stuff is hard to feel comfortable with, I struggle still. I quit bingeing, quit overeating, quit freaking out, but it’s still sometimes hard to remain patient, convince myself it’s okay, and stay with it. But the alternatives are so much worse, so I take a deep breath, keep on keeping on. I think you’re doing great!

  3. Good luck!

    Believe me, it’s a huge relief to submit it all. Sure for a few minutes you want to try and grab it all back from under the door or out of the mail box to look at it one last time, but you’ll rock it, and then you can relax, have a galss of wine and grin from ear to ear.

    Just take care of YOURSELF. Don’t leave that out…and you’ll do great 🙂

  4. Go Marste!
    Tell you what. Submit your paperwork, and I’ll send you a /really/ good picture of Hugh 😉

  5. Change is so so tough. It sounds like you are handling everything really well! Kudos:)

  6. PS – I’d say your panic is pretty darn RATIONAL all things considered!

  7. Thanks, BL! I’m working on it! 🙂

    xercise, especially high intensity cardio, always makes me feel much better.
    LOL, Julie there were more than a few nights this week when I opted for kickboxing, just so I could throw some punches! And yes. Agreed. The alternatives ARE worse, which is why I’m exercising instead of drinking. At least exercise doesn’t leave me with a hangover.

    Sure for a few minutes you want to try and grab it all back from under the door or out of the mail box to look at it one last time
    Um, Geosomin, I’M NOT SURE THAT HELPS. 😉 No, you’re right. I got SOME stuff done this weekend, and I do feel better. But that part of your comment cracked me up!

    Oh, Merry. Promises, promises! Ha!

    Thanks, Charlotte! I don’t know about rational panic, though!

  8. Deadlines suck. But if you’re planning on being a lawyer, baby, you’d better get used to them. Except a lot of the work needs to be done, like, yesterday. I did my law school applications when I was a senior in college, so it wasn’t quite the crunch you’re dealing with (funny memory: the first time I used a PC was to type my personal statement. Yes, I am a relic. At the time, I felt too high-tech for words), but there’s a level of anxiety there too (will I get in? Can I handle it?) that exacerbates everything.

    Hang in there with the exercise. It can work miracles. During the hell of my first year of law school, I was flailing until I discovered the pool and started swimming for 45 minutes-1 hour after classes every day. It calmed me down and enabled me to lose 20 pounds. And it didn’t really take up time, because I would have wasted that time anyway (it was when everyone was hanging out being competitive and complaining about class).

    Breathe. You will get through this. I promise!


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