And the Wheels in My Brain Go ‘Round and ‘Round

I have a lot going on in my life at the moment.  That’s been a true statement for several months now, actually, and will probably continue to be a true statement for the foreseeable future.  Lots of things, lots of stuff to think about and remember and make decisions about.  Lots of external stuff (remember to order law school transcripts and clean out those cookbooks and submit the expense report for ShowEast and return the trash can that wouldn’t stay open and wash the car and renew the library books andandand) and lots of internal stuff (more detail to follow). 

I keep thinking that I’ll get some breathing room.  That I have a lot going on, but for a week or two (dear God, what I’d give for two weeks with nothing to do except go to work and run errands and clean the house) I’ll have a breather in there somewhere.  And then I remember what I have going on, and I realize that no, I probably won’t really get a breather – but some little part of me still hopes for it, and is always disappointed when a project ends and another project IMMEDIATELY takes its place. 

So in light of that, I’ve resurrected what I call “The Big Book of Drama Prevention.”  Also known at other times as “Chop Wood, Carry Water,” and originally as the FlyLady Control Journal.  The Big Book of Drama Prevention (BBDP) is exactly what it sounds like: a place to keep ALL the lists, the schedules, the meal plans, etc., so that I don’t find myself in the weeds at some point, running around and freaking out.  A place to keep myself organized, therefore preventing the otherwise inevitable drama that I will create BECAUSE SOME PART OF ME IS WHACKED IN THE HEAD THAT WAY. 

By the time I get to the point of needing the BBDP, I usually have 100 things on my To-Do list, and time to do about 10.  Oddly enough, when the discrepancy is that great, I feel less stressed than I do when I have 15 things to do and time to do 10.  I always feel like if I tried a LITTLE harder, I could squeeze those 15 things in, but hell, if it’s 100 things, it ain’t gonna happen, and I might as well stop worrying about it.  So I become a master prioritizer (hey, look!  I just made up invented a word!).  I’ve been thinking the last few days about what EXACTLY my priorities are right now: what can be put aside, what I have to carve out time for, etc.  Not just on the little things like errands and cleaning, but even on the big things like sleep, food, weight loss, etc. 

There’s nothing like overwhelming demands on your time to force you to clarify what’s important.

One of the things that made the “yes, this is important and if I have to re-jigger my whole schedule to accommodate it, I will just have to start re-jiggering” is weight loss.  The bottom line is that if I don’t use the next year to drop the weight I want to lose, I won’t do it for the next 5 years.  Because really, let’s be honest: losing weight is hard and it takes time – time that I will not have when I’m working full-time and going to school 4 nights a week.  I can maintain during a time like that, but the initial work needed to retrain my brain and all that?  It’s now or never.  Or at least, now or in my late 30s. 

I bought the Beck Diet Book (that I can’t remember the ACTUAL title of, but you probably know the one I’m talking about – the one with the patronizing subtitle that’s something like “learn to think like a thin person”).  Because it’s focused on changing attitudes and behaviors, and on developing coping mechanisms, instead of “eat this food, in this amount, this many times a day,” I think it might be more helpful for me that a straight “diet” book.  It’s presented like a workbook, with assignments every day, and it will probably require an hour or so of my time on a daily basis.  (You see why I would NEVER start this in law school.)  So I’m going to find an hour a day somewhere.  (That’s this weekend’s big project.  Well.  ONE of this weekend’s big projects.  But one of the most important ones.)  I’ve been reading bits and pieces of the book, and I dutifully went out and got some notecards and a notebook today.  I do best psychologically with a Monday-Sunday week instead of a Sunday-Saturday one, so I’ll “officially” start Monday, although I’m already kicking around some of the stuff.  And I can already see that there are a few things that I might have to take more than a day on.

Anyway, I figured I’d review it as I went along.  I have to admit that there is some stuff in the beginning that I’m not crazy about.  Not so much the information itself, as her writing style, which I do sometimes find a little patronizing in that fake cheerleader sort of way.  And the author definitely seems to have bought whole-hog (pun intended) into the idea that it’s just GROSS to be fat, which bothers me.  So I’m going to work her program as written, but I’m going to focus on eating normally.  I’m thinking of this not as a Weight Loss Program, but as an Eat Like a Normal Person Program.  With added weight loss benefits, if all goes according to plan.  😉

I’ll let you know. 

And I’ll post the Disney trip this weekend!  😀

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2 responses to “And the Wheels in My Brain Go ‘Round and ‘Round

  1. I, too, am having trouble getting a handle on everything I need to do. What with working (two jobs, although the second one has been pretty slack lately), ranching, trying to keep the house clean, filling the bag orders (which only gets crazier as Xmas approaches) AND trying to lose weight, and trying to keep up with blogging….. and and and….
    And now the Rancher has gone back to work, which increases my workload around home. Thank heavens we don’t have children!
    Today I need to deal with a mountain of tomatoes and an enormous pumpkin. On top of trying to do all the housework that got ignored all week because I had bag orders to fill…. I need to go back to work to get some rest! And I have to do it all silently, because the Rancher is working night shift, so he’s sleeping….
    Sheesh, I should have written this on my OWN blog, instead of whining in your comment section!

    If you figure out how to do everything, let me know, ‘kay?

  2. BL, definitely check out the FlyLady site, if you’re not familiar with it. I can’t even tell you how much it helps me to get stuff done when I feel like I don’t really have the time. I even get to schedule in relaxation time, which seriously saves my bacon!

    (Um. Did I just really use the phrase, “saves my bacon????” How embarrassing. LOL!)

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