My skin has been craptastic lately. Between junk food and alcohol and staying up late and PMS, it’s been dry and oily and breaking out and flaking off – ALL AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. YOU try finding a cleanser/toner/moisturizer that fixes all that. So, out of desperation, I decided to try something I’d read about in a few different places FOREVER ago: putting oil on my face. Specifically olive oil, because that’s what I had in the fridge and damned if I was going to go buy oil just for my face, because I knew, I KNEW that it would be gross and make my skin oilier and my makeup slide off, but I WAS DESPERATE DAMMIT AND WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING, OK?!
So I washed my face and then rubbed some olive oil into it. And then I did it again the next morning. And then I put my makeup on and went to work. And you know what? I was NOT SHINY. Not even a little bit around 3:00,when usually all my makeup comes off. And by that night, my craptastic breakout (the cystic kind that you can’t cover up no matter HOW HARD YOU TRY, and that usually last for a week or 10 days) was GONE. GONE, I TELL YOU! And by the next morning, my skin was softer and not at all oily or dry. WEIRD. And also, YAY! And all this was STILL DURING PMS AND JUNK FOOD INGESTION. Wow. Also, seriously, do you know how much money I could save by putting olive oil on my face instead of bazillion-dollar moisturizers??? NICE. So try it. It is AWESOME.
In other news, I did not go buy wine tonight. And I had a shitty day. And my favorite wine is on SALE: buy a bottle, get another one for a nickel. And STILL I did not buy wine. I did however come home and clean my house like there was a pack of wild dogs at my heels, which in a sense, there was. I still want a glass of wine (or 3), but I’m no longer considering going back out to buy a bottle. Small victories here, ok?
No gym since Tuesday. I was going to go this morning. My alarm went off, I hit snooze, argued with myself for a few minutes, dragged my ass out of bed, got dressed, drank some coffee, headed for the door, took hold of the knob, and . . . burst into tears. Ooooooookay. No gym this morning. I sat on the couch and had another cup of coffee, then did a guided meditation off of my meditation playlist, and then did 20 minutes of Rodney Yee’s “A.M. Yoga,” during which I started crying AGAIN. Huh. Apparently there is a lot of shit going down in my brain somewhere. Nothing to do but ride it out, I know, but in the meantime it SUCKS.
I spent most of today, and a good portion of the rest of the week for that matter, thinking (again) about weight loss and health. I tend to get them confused on a semi-regular basis. So I got my little book back out and remembered that plant fat makes my body happy and that alcohol and other sugars do not. And that although I CAN lose weight by eating Lean Cuisine and drinking wine, I will pretty much feel like crap the entire time. OH, YEAH. BREAKING NEWS. AGAIN. *sigh*
But I’ve been feeling really, “Fuck it, I’m just going to eat Doritos and camp on the couch with my wine/scotch/whatever, and stay up late and sleep in in the morning and use makeup to cover up the fact that I look like hell,” lately. So I spent some time today remembering how I FEEL when I eat better and take care of myself. When I get some exercise and some sleep. When I get some things accomplished during the day. OH, YEAH. BREAKING NEWS. I FEEL BETTER. Who knew? *rolls eyes* But it helped. It helped to remember that I DO feel better when I eat better, get some exercise and get some sleep. It’s not just about a size in my jeans or a number on the scale. The numbers are (almost) incidental. But the difference in how I feel is tremendous. THAT is why I have to stop treating my body like crap. Not for the number, but for my sanity. (Assuming that I can remember to MAINTAIN my sanity while striving to achieve sanity. If that make sense.)