Thinking hard. (Oh, go ahead, say it: “Or Hardly Thinking.” You know you were thinking it.)

I’m still refining the “New Me.”  I’ve started making some changes already, but I’m still refining other parts of her/me. 

I was at the bookstore the other day and found something like this tracker on the bargain rack.  Not that exact one, but something similar.  It had a few useful things in it, but it also had a few things I wasn’t sure would send me over the edge, so I didn’t buy it, but I’m thinking I might go back and get it.  (What?  It was four dollars.  FOUR. DOLLARS.) 

See, I did NOT like the breakdowns of calories, fat, fiber, protein, carbohydrate, etc.  Too many numbers for me to stay sane.  But I DID like the space to plan the week’s workouts, and I ESPECIALLY liked the space marked something like, “What challenges do you have coming up this week?”  (It occurs to me that I should use that format for my finances, too.  I tend to forget things like, oh, a SOCIAL LIFE, which involves movies and lunches and that sort of thing.  Then I’m always surprised when I’m out of money at the end of the month.  *SIGH*  Someday I’ll learn.  ;D) 

Take tomorrow for instance.  It’s Secretaries’ Day (yeah, I know that isn’t the PC term, but come on).  All our bosses are sending us to the country club for a 2-hour lunch.  It’s very nice of them, and I’m certainly not complaining.  But at the same time, I’m totally freaked out: what will I eat?  What if there’s nothing healthy (this is a buffet setup, so “nothing healthy” is ENTIRELY possible)?  Should I sneak “safe” food into the office and just eat some salad at the lunch?  What if the other ladies comment on me not eating (like they did last year)?  What if, what if, what if?

That mini bout of anxiety is 1 part ED and 2 parts “I just got back on the wagon, what the hell will I do if I fall off right away?”  It’s not enough of a freakout to keep me up tonight, or send me to the gym a half-hour (or an hour) early tomorrow, but it’s enough to make me think about it now.

ANYWAY.  That little book had spaces for things like this.  I do well with that sort of structure – I have the attention span of a goldfish, so I need to be reminded periodically that the world will exist beyond the next 10 minutes, and so maybe I SHOULD THINK ABOUT THINGS BEYOND THE NEXT 10 MINUTES.  Just a thought. 

I’m kind of tempted to go buy that book and then use it as a template to make my own tracking sheet.  For 4 bucks, I figure that’s worth it.  On the other hand, I kind of like having it all contained in a nice neat little book.  (Yeah, I’m compulsive like that.  Shut up.)

I don’t know.  I haven’t decided.  (Well, yes I have – I know damn well I’m going to end up buying that thing.  I’m just pretending that I’m still debating.)

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Pros and cons of a little book like that?  (I’ve never kept one that detailed; I’ve kept food journals, but those were mostly calorie journals, and I never paid much attention to the individual nutrients involved.  Um.  Except for one 3-month stretch that we won’t speak of except to say that it was a bad scene.  So I won’t be tracking minute specifics, but workouts and upcoming events and protein and calorie intake might be nice.)

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4 responses to “Thinking hard. (Oh, go ahead, say it: “Or Hardly Thinking.” You know you were thinking it.)

  1. Im thinking you know my thoughts (YES. and thanks again for all your help) .
    I also get your panic about today and encourage you to take a deep breath and KNOW that there will be good choices there for you.

    Make the best selections you can and even bring a healthy snack to work for later should you find that there isnt enough there which you want to eat and are still hunger later.

  2. It sounds like there are a lot of benefits to having a place you can write what YOU need to record–if you can customize that tracker, I think it’s an excellent idea. Or steal some of the helpful questions it has and create your own notebook system.

    And I think MizFit has a great suggestion about bringing a “back up” snack you could have later if there was nothing healthy–just to take the stress off what could be a very fun occasion if you weren’t so worried about food!

  3. Eating in public always sends me into a tizzy too. You can do this, girl! Just focus on portion control and eating some of what you really want. At least for me, if I skip all the good stuff entirely I’m at risk of bingeing on yogurt covered carob chips when I get home.

    And it sounds like the journal might be helpful to you!

  4. Thanks, Miz. I took your advice and packed some veggie sausages (protein!) in case there’s not much there. I can always eat a salad and just eat sausages when I get back. *deep breath* (And you’re so SO welcome – I hope my comments helped, and thanks for letting me comment at all!)

    Crabby, I think I’m totally going to customize the tracker. Even if I end up using the actual book, it’s likely that I’ll cross out some categories and substitute other ones (cross out fiber and just sub for vegetable servings, for instance).

    Charlotte, the eating in public thing is weird, isn’t it? Just when I think it doesn’t bother me anymore, it comes roaring back. Or rather, not so much the eating part, as the social commentary that comes with it. I don’t have a problem with eating some salad and some chicken, but the running commentary from the other women (“Is that all you’re eating?” “You’re so GOOD!” “You’re not having the SOUFFLE?!” [I hate dessert souffles, but they flat out don’t believe me]) that drives me batty and starts making me all neurotic.

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