Today . . . I got nothin’

I’m trying to post every day, so I’ m writing with nothing to say!  Woo-hoo!

(You!  In the back!  Who just muttered, “How is this different from any other day, then?”  I HEARD that!  ;D)

I’m feeling the powerful pull of inertia right now.  I’m tired.  I don’t want to eat well.  I don’t want to go to the gym.  I just want to go home, to my nice warm bed and sleep.  Sleeeeeeeep. 

It’s not that I’m PHYSICALLY tired, really.  I’m just . . . emotionally tired, I guess.  If that makes any sense at all.  Mentally tired?  Something like that. 

I decided to get back OFF the dating website that I’d gotten on to.  Between this blog and my cooking blog I’m already spending a fair amount of time staring at a computer screen, and adding the dating site on top of it means I’m not doing ANYTHING else.  Seriously, I log into that site, and it takes an hour and a half to clean out my email.  (Yeah, I know.  Oh, poor me.  People think I’m cute enough to send me emails.  Life is tough.  Did I mention that my golden shoes pinch a little bit, too?) 

But seriously, I have to find a way to get out of the house more often.  It’s not good for me to be home 24/7.  And that’s really part of the problem: I LIKE being home.  But after a while, it starts to sap my energy, and I’m not even aware of it.  And the more sapped I get, the less I want to do anything BUT go home and go to bed.  And after a few weeks of that I work myself down into a Grade-A depression.  Right now I’m in the sapped-out phase.  But the irony is, I’ve got enough going on right now that adding one more thing to the list of things to do seems overwhelming.  Even if it’s just to go out for drinks with friends.

Oh, and something else.  All you exercise people who get up early in the morning?  How the hell do you DO it?  I’ve been getting up at 4:00, which is ok, except that I’d better damn well be in bed with the lights out by 9:00 the night before.  I HAVE NO LIFE.  And the gym is making it worse.  How do you get around that?

Maybe I should just date someone who works on film sets.  Not who just works IN film, but someone who is actually on the set at 5:00am on Monday.  That way we’ll both be tired together, and we can play on the weekends!  Now I just have to figure out where all the tech boys are hanging out . . .

Actually, one of the things I decided to do was to re-sign up for this website.  It’s called Meetup, and the idea is that you search your area for people with your interests.  You find groups of folks who also want to go out to dinner, movies, meet to knit or scrapbook, hike the canyons in LA, whatever.  And you sign up, and they send you notices about the next meetups and you go!  Seems like a more organic way to meet people than on a dating website, you know?  Plus you make friends, not just dates.  All of which would be good for me, and frankly, the idea of going out once or twice a month seems WAY more do-able than spending an hour and a half on the dating site every damn night.  (Yeah, yeah.  The golden shoes still pinch.)

And I’m stressed.  Not in a bad way, but in the way that I know is a precursor to BEING a bad way.  Know what I mean?  Launching that cooking blog is something I’m really excited about, but all of a sudden my perfectionist self is going, “Oh my god!  You have to have a new recipe!  EVERY WEEK!  What if you MISS A WEEK!  WHAT IF YOU CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING AND ALL YOUR READERS [what, all four of them?] GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK AND YOU NEVER COOK AGAIN AND THE COOKING BLOG FAILS AND AND . . . ”

Did I mention that I’m a perfectionist?  I just didn’t want you to miss that part.  😉

Never mind that I read cookbooks for FUN.  Never mind that left to my own devices, I cook at least once and sometimes twice a week.  Never mind that those are NEW, made-up recipes (heavily influenced by whatever the contents of my fridge happen to be at the time), and the only thing that’s different now is that I’m writing them down somewhere.  Never mind all that.  *SIGH*

And again, all of this would be better if  I weren’t so freakin’ TIRED.  I napped in my car on my lunch hour yesterday, and I plan on doing it again today.  I slept 8 hard hours last night, and hope for the same tonight.  Actually, I wonder if I’m fighting a cold.  There’s been a nasty one making the rounds in the office.  (Is it bad that I almost HOPE it’s a cold?  Not because I want to be sick, but because then at least I’d know WHY I’m so freakin’ tired.)

I don’t know.  I’m tired and stressed, and I have a sneaking suspiscion that it’s all my own doing.  *rolls eyes*  YAY.  (LOL.)


9 responses to “Today . . . I got nothin’

  1. Don’t you hate it when your own crazy brain causes you stress? (Ummm, speaking from experiance here, not pointing any fingers 😉 )

  2. LOL! That’s ok, in this case, the finger-pointing would be well-deserved! But yes. Yes I DO hate it when it’s my own damn fault that I’ve lost my mind. 😉

  3. I hear you. I am in the same tired boat (sheesh, hope it doesn’t spring a leak – who will bail it out…?)

    My sister advised me to do all kinds of things to my computer, and one of them (don’t ask me which – I have no clue) has made it so that I have to type in all the required information on some blogs (yours included) in order to leave a comment. It used to do it automatically.

    I haven’t been leaving many comments on these blogs because I’m too tired to type in all that freakin’ information every.single.fucking.time!

    Don’t you feel special that I went to the trouble so I could whine in your comment section?!

  4. Exercise usually makes me feel better-less depressed, more energetic. That being said, I’m thinking of blowing it off tonight, because it’s cold out, but then I’m afraid I won’t be able to sleep tonight. We’ll see. I do Meetup here in SF, they tend to be nice people, more women than men, usually a bit older. SF is a different kind of town, though.

    I also like to cook, and have a huge cookbook collection. Mostly I just make a few things repeatedly, especially things that use assortments of random veggies. This week I’ll make yellow split pea soup, and for Valentine’s Day, tuna tartare (or poke), and cream of vegetable soup. Neither on my regulars schedule. Yum yum!

  5. Yes, it’s true. It’s all true.
    If you skip One Single Week on this cooking blog then we will all turn from you in horror, turn on you in disgust, and turn you in to the Blogging police. You’ll be doomed, woman, you hear me? Doomed!
    Oh wait. Should that last word have a few more exclamation points? Should I have used italics instead of capitalizing those letters? Damn, this comment isn’t perfect! Aaargh!

  6. What I meant to say was that I get up at 5:30 am (thanks to the alarm dog!), and I generally get home from work at 6 pm, and try to get to sleep between 10 and 11. I generally get to the gym one or two days after work, and the weekends. I have a 20 minute bike ride and 10 minute walk on each end of my commute, and if it’s not a gym day, I try to get another walk. I do meetup or other stuff a few times a week, and usually bike anywhere I go. I can’t dedicate my life to exercise, just do the best I can. I’m lucky to be a person who sleeps 6-7 hours a night at most, anyway. Tonight I got to the gym by giving myself the choice to opt out, instead spending the time cleaning my apt. I sure didn’t want to do that!

  7. yep
    you nailed it.

    Up at 4 to workout and work before toddler is up and I AM in bed by 9.

    I keep telling myself this is not forever 🙂

  8. Oh, BL, that SUCKS. I’m definitely flattered that you bothered to come comment! 😉 Have you tried enabling your cookies? That should make it so you only have to log in again one time for each place.

    Julie, I hear you on the feeling-better part. I guess my problem is that I’d like to feel better past about 9:00pm. Ha! The Meetups in LA are pretty mixed, although it depends a LOT on what kinds of groups you join.

    Merry! I CRACKED UP at that comment. Actually that was probably exactly what I needed to hear – it sort of clarified how irrational I was being, and it was awesome! Thanks! 😀

    Well, Miz, I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse, LOL. On the one hand, at least I know I’m NORMAL. On the other hand, this kind of normal . . . well, kind of sucks. Ha!

  9. 4am? Ack! The only time I’m awake at 4am is if I’ve been woken by a panic attack.

    I exercise better a couple of hours after lunch. I have no energy in the morning, I guess because I don’t eat breakfast and I’m naturally dehydrated after a full night’s sleep.

    Exercising in the middle of the afternoon is hard to schedule sometimes, but luckily I have a pretty flexible schedule.

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