I’m trying to post every day, so I’ m writing with nothing to say! Woo-hoo!
(You! In the back! Who just muttered, “How is this different from any other day, then?” I HEARD that! ;D)
I’m feeling the powerful pull of inertia right now. I’m tired. I don’t want to eat well. I don’t want to go to the gym. I just want to go home, to my nice warm bed and sleep. Sleeeeeeeep.
It’s not that I’m PHYSICALLY tired, really. I’m just . . . emotionally tired, I guess. If that makes any sense at all. Mentally tired? Something like that.
I decided to get back OFF the dating website that I’d gotten on to. Between this blog and my cooking blog I’m already spending a fair amount of time staring at a computer screen, and adding the dating site on top of it means I’m not doing ANYTHING else. Seriously, I log into that site, and it takes an hour and a half to clean out my email. (Yeah, I know. Oh, poor me. People think I’m cute enough to send me emails. Life is tough. Did I mention that my golden shoes pinch a little bit, too?)
But seriously, I have to find a way to get out of the house more often. It’s not good for me to be home 24/7. And that’s really part of the problem: I LIKE being home. But after a while, it starts to sap my energy, and I’m not even aware of it. And the more sapped I get, the less I want to do anything BUT go home and go to bed. And after a few weeks of that I work myself down into a Grade-A depression. Right now I’m in the sapped-out phase. But the irony is, I’ve got enough going on right now that adding one more thing to the list of things to do seems overwhelming. Even if it’s just to go out for drinks with friends.
Oh, and something else. All you exercise people who get up early in the morning? How the hell do you DO it? I’ve been getting up at 4:00, which is ok, except that I’d better damn well be in bed with the lights out by 9:00 the night before. I HAVE NO LIFE. And the gym is making it worse. How do you get around that?
Maybe I should just date someone who works on film sets. Not who just works IN film, but someone who is actually on the set at 5:00am on Monday. That way we’ll both be tired together, and we can play on the weekends! Now I just have to figure out where all the tech boys are hanging out . . .
Actually, one of the things I decided to do was to re-sign up for this website. It’s called Meetup, and the idea is that you search your area for people with your interests. You find groups of folks who also want to go out to dinner, movies, meet to knit or scrapbook, hike the canyons in LA, whatever. And you sign up, and they send you notices about the next meetups and you go! Seems like a more organic way to meet people than on a dating website, you know? Plus you make friends, not just dates. All of which would be good for me, and frankly, the idea of going out once or twice a month seems WAY more do-able than spending an hour and a half on the dating site every damn night. (Yeah, yeah. The golden shoes still pinch.)
And I’m stressed. Not in a bad way, but in the way that I know is a precursor to BEING a bad way. Know what I mean? Launching that cooking blog is something I’m really excited about, but all of a sudden my perfectionist self is going, “Oh my god! You have to have a new recipe! EVERY WEEK! What if you MISS A WEEK! WHAT IF YOU CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING AND ALL YOUR READERS [what, all four of them?] GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK AND YOU NEVER COOK AGAIN AND THE COOKING BLOG FAILS AND AND . . . ”
Did I mention that I’m a perfectionist? I just didn’t want you to miss that part. 😉
Never mind that I read cookbooks for FUN. Never mind that left to my own devices, I cook at least once and sometimes twice a week. Never mind that those are NEW, made-up recipes (heavily influenced by whatever the contents of my fridge happen to be at the time), and the only thing that’s different now is that I’m writing them down somewhere. Never mind all that. *SIGH*
And again, all of this would be better if I weren’t so freakin’ TIRED. I napped in my car on my lunch hour yesterday, and I plan on doing it again today. I slept 8 hard hours last night, and hope for the same tonight. Actually, I wonder if I’m fighting a cold. There’s been a nasty one making the rounds in the office. (Is it bad that I almost HOPE it’s a cold? Not because I want to be sick, but because then at least I’d know WHY I’m so freakin’ tired.)
I don’t know. I’m tired and stressed, and I have a sneaking suspiscion that it’s all my own doing. *rolls eyes* YAY. (LOL.)