The funny thing about not writing for a while is that when I start again for a few days after, I’m not sure what to write about. It’s like all those ideas and emotions, without anyplace to go, just spiral back down on themselves into my psyche and burrow in. And then it’s hard to find them again. I know they’re in there – they just aren’t coming out into the light.
::::whispers:::: I’m in week 2 of the Hundred Pushup challenge. I’m whispering because I find that when I talk about things too early, they sort of deflate like a souffle, and I don’t do them after all. ::::end whispering:::: But I’m in the second week and I did 11 in a row tonight! Am I supposed to be able to touch my nose to the floor? Because I can’t. At all. But I can do 11 a little lower than I could do 5 last week. And if I count up how many I did TOTAL tonight – I did 28! Wow! That’s pretty awesome! 😀 At the end of the week you’re supposed to do as many as you can and then base your next 2 weeks off that number. When I looked at week 3 I realized that the category with the fewest pushups started at 16, and I freaked out! Oh, no! What if I can only do 11? And then I realized that I could go back to the first week, pick the column that has 11 pushups in it and do that column for the next two weeks. It’ll add a couple of weeks to the program, but it’s a nice way around my inner perfectionist. 🙂
I need to start exercising again, too. (Other than pushups, I mean.) It’s too hot to run in the park right now, and soon it will start getting dark earlier. I don’t run in the park in the dark because there are NO LIGHTS in that park. And even though it’s a super-safe neighborhood, I don’t feel like tempting fate (or running into trees, because seriously: NO LIGHTS). I have some Turbo-Jam DVDs that I LOVE, but right now I live in a 2nd-floor apartment with hardwood floors all the way around, so jumping up and down? Is OUT. I don’t want to have to put rugs down – I like my wood floors. So I’m thinking I need to start lifting weights. I have limited space, so I’m thinking 2 or 3 sets of dumbells/free weights. Space is limited, so I don’t think I can store more than 3 sets. Any ideas? (Miz, you KNOW I’m looking at you, right? LOL) I’ve got to get on the internet and run down an effective weight workout I can do instead of cardio for the moment. I know it would be better to do cardio too, but I’m all about the babysteps right now, and I know that if I can do something for 20 minutes in my living room while watching Law & Order, I’m more likely to do it. That’s not always where my head is at, but it’s where I’m at now.
What else can I write about?
I was reading some stuff in the Fatosphere today and I had to laugh. Sometimes I feel like I don’t quite fit anywhere. I believe more FA stuff than mainstream society, but I’m not always as emphatic about it as many people who are really involved in it. Hm. I’m not sure my brain is capable of going into detail about it now. Suffice it to say that it feels weird to agree with so much stuff and then at the same time feel like I don’t feel healthy at the weight I’m at now. And I do know from previous experience that if I eat better, I’ll drop some weight. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never be a size 2, but I’ll get a little smaller. Is it dieting if healthy behaviors lead to weight loss? What if the only reason I’m eating healthier is because I want to lose weight? (And by “healthier” I really DO mean eat healthier – not eat LESS, which is a whole different thing.) I don’t know. Living in paradox is weird. LOL
Aaaaaanyway. My brain is fried. I’m going to watch 10 minutes of Law & Order, and then I’m going to bed. I might read for a while.