So you know what’s weird? The fact that I have had some serious writer’s block since I got so many new visitors. Seriously. Nothing seems good enough to say suddenly, now that I know people out there are actually reading this, LOL.
I had an idea that this would happen, because MizFit asked if she could link over here before she actually did, and I had a moment of panic when I thought about it. Then I thought about it some more and decided I was being a dork, and that maybe possibly this should be something I should deal with – “this” being the overwhelming need to have EVERYONE like me ALL THE TIME. Because you know, the more people who visit here, the more likely someone won’t like it (me), and well, you know, I CAN’T HAVE THAT, RIGHT??
The funny thing is, that people-pleaser part of me is only half the story. The other half of me is a, “You don’t like what I have to say? Kiss my ass” sort of person. So it’s a little weird to have those two dynamics coexisting in my head. I’m not sure how that works, actually, but there it is.
So mostly this is kind of a filler post, where I remind myself that I don’t have to actually be all profound and entertaining and educational and whatever other pompous adjectives I can think of. It’s still my journal. And the whole, “What if people don’t like me? I should CHANGE! BE DIFFERENT! PLEASE EVERYONE!” panic is just freakin’ ridiculous.
Did I mention that’s easier said than done sometimes, though? 😛
Oh, I did want to say that in the comments to the Intuitive Eating post, there seemed to be an overarching theme of not being able to trust yourself around eating whatever you want. And honestly, that was the hardest, scariest thing for me to deal with, but this post helped a LOT. Mostly because that “Kiss my ass if you don’t like it” part of me does really well with the idea that “You-are-not-the-boss-of-me.” (That was actually the old title for this blog in Blogger. LOL) So the part in there where the author writes this:
I mean, think about it for two seconds. People are selling plans that allow you to “eat what you want,” to the tune of billions. That’s lunacy. Because I love you, I shall offer you the Kate Harding Lifetime Diet Plan — which permits you to eat whatever you want — absolutely free! It goes like this:
Eat whatever you want. It’s your body. You’re allowed.
DAY 2 THROUGH DEATH:
Repeat Day 1.
That part about “It’s your body. You’re allowed” was fucking REVOLUTIONARY for me. It was sort of one of those “Duh” moments like, “Well, DUH, who ELSE do I have to answer to? The people who tell me what I’m ‘supposed’ to eat/weight/aspire to/think? THEY ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!” *grin* See how that “Boss-of-me” thing works? Sometimes it’s handy.
So I really, really, REALLY recommend going and reading that post (and if you have time, the comments, but there are a LOT of them, just fyi).
And for what it’s worth, when I started making an effort to really listen to my body, and to give it what it wanted (even if that was sugar or chips or whatever), I found that after about a week or 10 days my binges stopped and that most of the time I really didn’t want the junk food, anyway. I was just eating it because it was there, or because I was in a situation where I had “permission” or because . . . hell I don’t know. Maybe I was afraid of a national frosting shortage (because frosting is the whole POINT of cake, you know).
Aaaaaaanyway. I think I have my mental space back from the “Please everyone” monster, now. So that’s good. 🙂