Sometimes I “remember” things that I used to know, but have forgotten. Things like, “I get depressed when I don’t exercise,” and “I really do need 8 hours of sleep at night.” And I’m always amazed to discover this shocking new information! At least for a few minutes, until I start remembering that, “ohhhhh, yeeeaaaah, [...]
Archive for June, 2009
Everything Old is New Again
Posted in Disordered Eating, Making Progress, My hate/love/hate relationship with Weight Watchers, Physical health on June 26, 2009 | 5 Comments »
WTF?
Posted in Emotional health on June 25, 2009 | 7 Comments »
This week I’ve been feeling ok. Getting up, out to the gym, feeling tired in the evenings, but pretty chipper most of the day.
But last night hit me like a ton of bricks. I practically staggered home from work, feeling like I wanted to cry.
Today is worse.
Part of it is stress. The stress of moving, [...]
Blah, Blah, Blah
Posted in Disordered Eating, Drinking, Emotional health, Fitness, Making Progress, Mental health, Physical health, Recovery on June 22, 2009 | 6 Comments »
That pretty much sums it up. (And I think I’ve used that post title before. Hm.) This week has been a little crazy – not the crazy-head kind, but the I’m-so-busy-I-don’t-have-time-to-breathe kind.
First off, thanks to Julie for suggesting that I binge on fruit if I’m really in a bad way. I’ve been eating grapes and [...]
Wins and Losses – and a pre-book review
Posted in Drinking, Emotional health, Fitness, Making Progress, Mental health, Physical health, Recovery on June 16, 2009 | 8 Comments »
Last night I drove past the Trader Joe’s near my work without stopping for a $5 bottle of wine. That was self-discipline.
Then I drove past the Ralph’s by my house without stopping for a $10 bottle of wine. That was just because I’m broke. (No, really. I TOTALLY would have stopped if I’d had the money.)
I did [...]
The “Real” Start of the Day, and Getting it Right
Posted in Emotional health, Mental health, Physical health, Recovery on June 15, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Someone told me today that in the Old Testament it was considered that a new day actually started the night before: that it was how you went to bed that set the tone for the next day. (I have no idea if that’s actually true or not, but it does make sense in light of [...]
Making Progress – 06.12.09
Posted in Making Progress, Recovery on June 12, 2009 | 8 Comments »
As of this morning, there is no more “real” ice cream or hard liquor in the house. (For whatever reason, those Skinny Cow ice cream bars don’t trigger a binge, so I still have half a box of those. But no “real” ice cream.)
I’m totally freaking out right now. Thank God I’m going out with [...]
Self-Examination is Fun! Um. Or not.
Posted in Disordered Eating, Drinking, Eating Disorders, Emotional health, Mental health, Physical health, Recovery on June 12, 2009 | 5 Comments »
So after yesterday, I had some thinking to do.
Some suggestions were really helpful, and in fact were things that I’d done in the past, and that DID help. Funny how I conveniently “forget” those when I’m in the throes of Crazy.
Some suggestions were things that I’ve done that didn’t work, or that were detrimental when [...]
So Here’s a Question for You
Posted in Cognitive Dissonance, Disordered Eating, Drinking, Physical health, Recovery on June 11, 2009 | 13 Comments »
When I start trying to take better care of myself; when I start trying to rename/reframe/re-whatever things in my head, I run into the following internal conversations:
Sanity:
Tonight I’ll honor my body and take care of it by not eating an entire pint of ice cream. I had a good dinner; now I’ll just go to [...]
Note to Self
Posted in Note to Self on June 10, 2009 | 5 Comments »
That anxious bird-like feeling of beating in your chest can indeed be sedated with ice cream or alcohol. But please remember when you get home tonight that both those things, while comforting in the short term, CONTRIBUTE to more beating feelings the next day. Don’t get sucked into the cycle.
Beating Wings and What Goes Down Must Come . . . Up?
Posted in Disordered Eating, Drinking, Emotional health, Mental health, Physical health, Recovery on June 10, 2009 | 5 Comments »
I’m on the ascending side of the cycle now. Things are starting to seem more do-able, more manageable. I figure I’ve got 2-3 months of this before I crash again. And (ideally) around that time my finances will allow for a therapist. So I’ve got a few months of a grace period here.
Sunday night I [...]
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